Reality TV’s brutal nature struck again — this time with spectacular flair — as Channel 4’s Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins opened its latest series with a double-whammy of dramatic exits. So much for star power, eh?
The show’s premiere episode packed enough punch to make a heavyweight boxer wince. Before viewers could settle into their sofas with their Monday night takeaway, two celebrities had already waved the white flag. S Club 7’s Hannah Spearritt and dance personality Louie Spence proved that fame’s protective bubble bursts rather spectacularly when faced with actual military-style training.
Spearritt’s departure hit particularly close to home. There was something raw and honest about her pre-recorded admission: “I don’t think I’ll go on the first day” — words that proved painfully prophetic. When she finally uttered “I’m done, I’m sorry, I’ve reached a point,” the vulnerability in her voice cut through the usual reality TV artifice.
Then there’s Louie Spence. Oh, Louie.
His exit might go down as one of television’s more memorable moments of 2024. During a hostage rescue operation, Spence — whose usual flair serves him brilliantly on stage — managed to lob a grenade into a building still containing the very hostages he was meant to save. Talk about a career pivot gone wrong. His withdrawal speech (“I want to do an immediate withdrawal, I just don’t have the conviction”) carried all the dramatic weight of a West End soliloquy, though perhaps not quite the impact he’d hoped for.
The show’s real dramatic meat came from Rebecca Loos, whose name alone probably sent millennials straight back to 2004’s tabloid headlines. During an intense interrogation about her alleged affair with David Beckham, Loos delivered what might be the understatement of the decade: “If I went back in time, yes, of course” — when asked about doing things differently. Well, hindsight’s always 20/20, innit?
The remaining cast reads like a fever dream of British pop culture. There’s ex-footballer Troy Deeney opening up about childhood trauma, Drag Race UK’s Bimini Bon Boulash (who reckons the show’ll be “a piece of piss” after growing up queer in Norfolk), and former drug mule Michaella McCollum. Chuck in Strictly’s Tasha Ghouri and footballer Adebayo Akinfenwa, and you’ve got yourself a proper cultural cocktail.
What makes Celebrity SAS fascinating isn’t just the physical challenges — though watching celebrities crawl through mud never gets old. It’s the way the show strips away the carefully constructed personas these public figures have built. When Troy Deeney shared his story about the abuse he and his mother endured, it wasn’t just another celebrity sob story — it was a reminder that beneath the fame and fortune lie real human struggles.
The remaining contestants face their own gauntlet every Monday at 9pm on Channel 4. Whether they’ve got what it takes to survive this brutal course is anyone’s guess, but one thing’s certain: celebrity status counts for absolutely nothing when you’re face-down in the mud, questioning every life choice that led you there.
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