Darlings, grab your popcorn because the latest legal drama starring former Representative Devin Nunes and MSNBC’s queen of quips Rachel Maddow just reached its season finale – and honey, it’s deliciously anticlimactic.
Picture it: U.S. District Judge Kevin Castel, serving pure Joan Crawford energy, just dropped the gavel on Nunes’ defamation lawsuit against Maddow with the kind of devastating finality usually reserved for season-ending cliffhangers. The verdict? About as shocking as finding out the Bachelor doesn’t actually find true love – absolutely no one saw this coming (wink, wink).
This particular episode of “Law & Disorder: Political Edition” stems from a 2021 segment where Maddow – serving facts with a side of shade – discussed a mysterious package addressed to Nunes from Ukrainian legislator Andrii Derkach (think supporting character with suspicious backstory). Derkach, darling, isn’t exactly on Hollywood’s A-list – unless you count his alleged starring role in Russian intelligence operations.
The whole affair reads like a rejected plot from “Succession” – Nunes claimed Maddow and MSNBC harbored “institutional hostility, hatred, extreme bias, spite and ill-will” toward him. Honestly, sweetie, that’s not a legal complaint; that’s a pitch for a Ryan Murphy series.
But here’s the tea: Judge Castel served the kind of reality check usually reserved for aging starlets trying to play ingenues. “No reasonable jury could find that NBCU made the statement with constitutionally-defined actual malice,” he declared. Translation? You can’t sue someone just because they read you for filth on national television.
Let’s not forget our leading man Nunes, who traded his congressional close-up for a new role as CEO of Truth Social – a career pivot that’s about as successful as Lindsay Lohan’s singing career (too soon?). This legal fumble adds another flop to his IMDb page of courthouse appearances, proving once again that not everyone’s cut out for litigation literacy.
While Judge Castel initially gave this production the green light in 2022 – noting that Nunes’ team had “plausibly alleged actual malice” – the final cut hit the cutting room floor faster than a Real Housewife’s deleted scene. Turns out “plausible” in legal terms is about as meaningful as a “lifetime guarantee” on a Hollywood marriage.
Meanwhile, Maddow continues to reign supreme in her prime-time slot, delivering political commentary sharper than a Christian Louboutin stiletto. As for Nunes? Well, darling, in the immortal words of Hollywood’s greatest philosophers: don’t call it a comeback – seriously, don’t.
And scene! 💋
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