Well, darlings, Hollywood’s favorite brooding vampire slayer has traded her stake for a director’s chair, and the results are absolutely delicious. Kristen Stewart’s directorial debut “The Chronology of Water” isn’t just making waves — it’s creating a full-blown tsunami in the industry. And honestly? It’s about time someone shook things up around here.
The Forge just couldn’t resist snatching up North American distribution rights (smart move, honestly). They’re plotting a classic awards-season strategy: December qualifying run, followed by a wider release in January 2025. Classic Hollywood chess moves, but with an indie twist that feels refreshingly authentic.
Let’s dish about what makes this film different, shall we? Based on Lidia Yuknavitch’s memoir, it’s the kind of raw, unvarnished storytelling that would make old-school studio heads reach for their smelling salts. Competitive swimming, sexual awakening, addiction — Stewart isn’t just dipping her toes in the shallow end, darlings. She’s diving straight into the deep end of the pool, and bringing us all along for the ride.
That glowing 93% on Rotten Tomatoes? Not too shabby for someone who used to make headlines for her apparent allergy to smiling. IndieWire’s David Ehrlich hit the nail square on its perfectly manicured head: “some movies are shot. This one was directed.” Honey, in an industry where every other celebrity thinks they can slide into the director’s chair like it’s a poolside lounger at the Chateau Marmont, that’s saying something.
The casting? Pure genius. Imogen Poots delivers what critics are dubbing a “revelatory performance” — and trust me, in this town, that word carries more weight than a designer’s entire resort collection. Then there’s the supporting ensemble: Jim Belushi (yes, really), Thora Birch (welcome back, darling), and — because why not throw a dash of rock ‘n’ roll royalty into the mix — Sonic Youth’s Kim Gordon. It’s like the most fascinating dinner party you’ve never been invited to.
Mark Mathias Sayre over at The Forge couldn’t contain his enthusiasm — and really, who could blame him? “Kristen hasn’t just directed a film,” he gushed, “she’s carved out a world with unmistakable vision: one that pulses with pain, desire, and defiance.” Coming from an industry exec, that’s practically a marriage proposal written in neon lights.
Stewart spent eight years nurturing this project — longer than some Hollywood marriages, mind you. “Films like ours should be birthed onto the screen,” she declared, with that characteristic intensity that’s made her evolution from teen idol to serious artist so utterly fascinating to watch.
The production credits read like a who’s who of international cinema: Scott Free Productions, CG Cinema International… Proof that even in an era where every other film seems to involve someone in spandex saving the world, there’s still room for storytelling that actually has something to say.
As The Forge’s Decker Sadowski puts it — and darling, she’s not wrong — “The Chronology of Water is a film that leaves you changed: more powerful, more awake, and more free.” In a landscape of cookie-cutter content and focus-grouped mediocrity, Stewart’s managed to create something that feels genuinely… well, genuine.
And isn’t that what we’ve been desperately craving all along?
Leave a Reply