The NFL’s preseason curtain call just wrapped up, and boy, what a mess of storylines we’ve got brewing. Between quarterback controversies, roster drama, and contract standoffs that’d make a reality TV producer blush, the league’s final dress rehearsal didn’t disappoint.
Take Philadelphia, where things got weird in the most Eagles way possible. Sure, Jalen Hurts is sitting pretty at the top — no drama there — but it’s the backup situation that’s got everyone scratching their heads. Picture this: Dorian Thompson-Robinson, who’s been lighting it up all preseason, suddenly becomes a sideline ornament while rookie Kyle McCord plays every… single… snap of the finale.
Nick Sirianni tried selling us some story about having “enough film” on Thompson-Robinson. Right. And maybe the Easter Bunny’s calling plays this season too.
The Vikings’ quarterback situation, meanwhile, has sorted itself out with all the subtlety of a Minnesota winter storm. Max Brosmer — some undrafted kid who apparently didn’t get the memo about rookies needing time to adjust — has flat-out won the backup job behind J.J. McCarthy. His showing in Nashville? Pure backup quarterback poetry: smart decisions, crisp passes, and the kind of swagger you can’t teach.
Poor Brett Rypien might want to dust off that resume, though. After his showing, he’s probably hoping the practice squad has room for one more.
But the real soap opera’s playing out in Dallas (shocking, right?). Micah Parsons — you know, the guy who’s been terrorizing quarterbacks like they owe him money — is locked in this fascinating contract dance with Jerry Jones. The timing’s just *chef’s kiss* perfect, what with Jones parading around promoting that Netflix doc “America’s Team: The Gambler and His Cowboys” like it’s 2025’s answer to “The Last Dance.”
Here’s where it gets good: Parsons goes full silent treatment after the preseason finale, but Trevon Diggs steps in like the world’s most obvious unofficial spokesperson. Asked about Parsons’ Week 1 availability against the Eagles, Diggs drops this gem about how it’ll “depend on how his back is feeling.” Sure, and maybe that back pain’s somehow connected to his wallet — funny how that works.
The whole Cowboys situation reads like a masterclass in modern NFL politics. Jones keeps working the media circuit like a seasoned carnival barker, while Parsons’ silence speaks volumes in an era where most players can’t stay off Twitter for five minutes.
As teams sprint toward those final roster cuts, some of these stories’ll wrap up nice and neat. Others? They’ll probably spiral into the kind of chaos that makes the NFL such addictive theater. But that’s what makes preseason finales more than just glorified practice — they’re the preview trailer for the blockbuster that’s about to hit screens across America.
And if there’s one thing we’ve learned from watching this league? The drama’s just getting started.
Leave a Reply