Hollywood’s remake machine churns onward into 2025, serving up fresh takes on beloved properties with decidedly mixed results. The latest offerings? A surprisingly complex reimagining of “Lilo & Stitch” and a somewhat wobbly expansion of the John Wick universe with “Ballerina.”
Let’s talk about that Hawaiian adventure first. Disney’s live-action “Lilo & Stitch” (hitting theaters next May) turns out to be quite the peculiar creature — rather like its alien protagonist. Most of the updates have fans more rattled than a tourist’s first encounter with spam musubi, but there’s an unexpected bright spot amid the controversy.
Billy Magnussen’s transformed take on Pleakley steals every scene faster than Stitch can snatch a surfboard. His expanded role elevates the formerly bumbling bureaucrat into something genuinely fascinating: a shrewd political operator who manages to declare Earth a wildlife preserve through some delightfully clever maneuvering. The physical comedy? Absolutely sublime.
The same can’t be said for poor Jumba. Zach Galifianakis — bless his heart — seems trapped in a watered-down version of the character that’s about as exciting as plain poi. Gone is the gleeful madness, replaced by… well, not much of anything. Such a shame.
Meanwhile, over in the neon-noir world of John Wick, “Ballerina” pirouettes onto screens with Ana de Armas as Eve, promising the kind of balletic violence that made the franchise famous. But something’s off in this particular dance.
The introduction of Eve’s sister Lena should’ve added emotional depth to this world of stylish assassins. Instead? The character lands with all the impact of a plastic knife at a gunfight. In an universe that’s given us such deliciously complex characters as The Director (remember Anjelica Huston’s magnificent turn?), this feels like a serious misstep.
“Fight like a girl,” Sharon Duncan-Brewster’s Nogi declares in what should be a powerful moment. But honestly? In 2025, when we’ve got female action heroes breaking bones and box office records left and right, this kind of dialogue lands about as gracefully as a rookie assassin in stilettos.
What these parallel reimaginings really highlight is Hollywood’s ongoing tango with nostalgia — sometimes elegant, sometimes stepping on its own feet. Sure, Pleakley’s glow-up shows it’s possible to polish a beloved character until they shine even brighter. But then there’s Lena, reminding us that even the most stylish franchise can trip over its own ambitions.
The lesson here? Maybe it’s that successful reinvention requires more than just a fresh coat of paint or a new pair of dancing shoes. It demands heart, vision, and — perhaps most importantly — a genuine reason for existing beyond the bottom line.
But hey, at least we’re not getting another Fast & Furious sequel.
Yet.
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