Oh, darlings, another Eurovision dream has crashed and burned faster than a sequined jumpsuit at a discount sale. Ireland’s latest attempt at reclaiming their crown — this time with Norway’s Emmy Kristiansen at the helm — met its tragic end during Thursday’s semi-finals at Basel’s St Jakobshalle arena. And honey, let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty.
The space-themed “Laika Party” (which, let’s be honest, sounded more promising on paper than a Netflix original) couldn’t launch Ireland back into Eurovision’s stratosphere. Poor Emmy, bless her 24-year-old heart, delivered her Instagram mea culpa with the grace of a seasoned PR pro: “I’m so sorry, Ireland. We will forever love you…” Well, sweetie, at least someone’s still feeling the love.
The contrast between Ireland’s current Eurovision drought and their glory days is sharper than Victoria Beckham’s cheekbones. Remember when Johnny Logan was serving double victories like they were appetizers at the Met Gala? Those were the days, darlings — when “What’s Another Year” and “Hold Me Now” weren’t just song titles but victory anthems.
Speaking of serving looks, the final lineup is giving us everything we didn’t know we needed. Finland’s Erika Vikman is bringing leather-clad drama that would make Madonna’s “Rebel Heart” era look tame, while Malta’s Miriana Conte is channeling powerhouse diva energy that’s pure 2025 excellence. And don’t even get me started on the UK’s Remember Monday — their Bridgerton-meets-Eurovision moment with “What The Hell Just Happened?” is exactly what we’re all thinking.
In a delicious twist that’s got the Eurovision community more excited than a sample sale at Bergdorf’s, Sophie Ellis-Bextor is stepping in as the UK’s spokesperson, replacing Doctor Who’s Ncuti Gatwa. Honestly? An upgrade worthy of awards season.
The rumor mill is working overtime (when isn’t it, really?) with whispers that Celine Dion might grace us with an appearance. Wouldn’t that be something? The queen returning to where it all began for her in ’88 — now that’s what I call a full-circle moment, sweeties.
But back to Ireland’s tragedy… The Horgan family’s multi-generational Eurovision pilgrimage ended in tears (not the good kind), perfectly capturing the mood of millions back home. As Dublin’s Russell Alford put it — with all the resignation of a fashionista facing last season’s trends — “Ireland is one of the greatest at Eurovision, or at least historically…” Honey, that “historically” speaks volumes.
In the ever-evolving circus of European pop, past glory counts for about as much as last year’s Instagram filters. For now, Ireland’s Eurovision journey ends not with a bang, but with a whimper that’s echoing through the rhinestone-studded halls of music history. But darlings, in this business, there’s always next year — and thank heavens for that.
Leave a Reply