Hollywood’s digital dating scene just got a whole lot juicier. During a recent episode of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop podcast, comedian Nikki Glaser dropped some deliciously candid revelations about her adventures on Raya — that ultra-exclusive dating app where blue checkmarks go to find love (or something like it).
Between sips of whatever overpriced wellness elixir Goop’s serving these days, Glaser confessed to shooting her shot with none other than Ben Affleck. “Oh, I definitely — when I used to be on Raya and he would come across, very concentrated check mark. Yes,” she admitted, serving up the kind of tea that makes celebrity gossip worth drinking.
But hold onto your green juice, because that’s not even the spiciest bit. Turns out Glaser had been playing a one-sided game of digital cat-and-mouse with Andrew Garfield, repeatedly trying to match with everyone’s favorite sensitive Spider-Man. “I think Andrew Garfield’s face came up for me so many times,” she shared, prompting Paltrow to chime in with an almost startlingly relatable “That would have been a good one. He’s gorgeous.”
The whole conversation felt like stumbling into the world’s most exclusive group chat. Here’s Glaser, fresh off her triumphant (and slightly savage) hosting gig at the 2025 Golden Globes, casually dishing about getting curved by A-listers on a dating app. Remember that monologue where she roasted Affleck about shouting movie titles post-coitus? Talk about coming full circle.
“I’m sure he just didn’t see my profile, even though I clicked on his a million times,” Glaser mused about Garfield, channeling the energy of every person who’s ever been left on read. Then, with the timing that’s made her comedy legendary: “And I know for a fact he had to have seen my profile and gone, ‘Nope.’”
The timing couldn’t be more perfect — or awkward, depending on where you’re standing. Affleck’s recent split from J.Lo has been tabloid fodder for months, while Garfield’s reportedly found happiness with Monica Barbaro. Meanwhile, somewhere in the metaverse, Paltrow’s probably still processing the fact that her ex from the late ’90s is now the subject of dating app discourse.
Let’s be real — there’s something weirdly comforting about knowing that even successful comedians face dating app rejection. Though presumably with better lighting in their profile pics and that coveted verification badge. In the end, maybe the real entertainment isn’t the matches we made, but the screenshots we took along the way.
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